Mr. Ford is still talking to other girls. One in particular that he almost went to see for a date when his trip was cut short.... so there's that. And I get it, we aren't dating and he owes me literally less than nothing (okay maybe genuin human decency but beyond that not much)
And if our goal is truly to become friends it really shouldn't matter but it does. It matters because I'm not talking to other people. I don't have time to talk to other boys- heck I've not answered my phone when I'm talking to him because I want to stay genuinely invested. So maybe I pull it back a little.
Mayne I need to get back on Mutual and try to connect with some other guys. Maybe I don't need to talk to Mr. Ford everyday on the phone. Yknow? Maybe it's time I stop hyper focusing on this not-relationship/relationship and instead focus on me. My life, my goals, my priorities because clearly he's focused on his.
Ugh! What the actual heck! This stinks!!!! I'm bummed and also my blah feelings go past just Mr. Ford.... life just feels like a lot. It feels like too much. Between baking and school and everything else with work and trying to find an apartment. It's just so much and a sully boy feels like an unnecessary addition to an already busy plate. Does that make any sense at all?
Mayne it doesn't but that's how I'm feeling tonight. Don't get me wrong Mr. Ford read me scriptures tonight which was very nice and sweet. And he was willing to talk to me even though I was feeling overwhelmed and blah. So he's a nice guy a great grand gut and whatever. I'm just annoyed and also tired and confused and feeling very very blah tonight.
Here's hoping for a better tomorrow. And maybe having work cancled.....
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