The night before

Tomorrow, is the start of a great big new adventure! I am moving into my very first apartment!! *ahh!*

Until literally Sunday night I was so excited. So hopeful for this new adventure, optimistic of the opportunities it would give me and just plain excited for something new and fun. But now.... now I'm petrified. 

I've just never done anything like this before, the last time I "moved" was when I left for 2 years to serve as a missionary. But that was so much easier- I mean all I had to take with me was a single suitecase. 

I know everything will be fine. I know that I'm capable and that I really can do this. I know that this adventure will be so good for me and will truly open me up to opportunities I hadn't expected. But it's still scary. 

Dear Mr. Ford

Mr. Ford, 

     Well, the crap hit the fan and bang goes that story. Honestly, I was really disappointed at first and frankly a little pissed because I was so impressed by you as a person. But not so much now. 

How could you give the "let's stay friends no matter what" blah blah blah. How charming and sweet I thought. He doesn't want us both to invest time and energy into something for it to just end when either of us decide that this isn't what we're looking for. Yet, here we are. Over two weeks ago you politely said, I don't have time for you anymore. But let's be friends and I haven't heard from you since. 

Maybe you're friends are different and blow each other off and or never talk to each other again (maybe you just meant let's stay Facebook friends? 🤔). I'm just disappointed in you. Because I put in a lot of effort to care about you, your life, your challenges, your dreams and goals. I sent you a package for goodness sake!!?! And I get a warning before the ghosting? 

I guess I understand being busy and I appreciated the warning beforehand. But it hurts. It hurts to be told I don't have time for you, and then for it to be true... because if you had time or cared about me as a person you would check in. I'm sad because that feeling hurts... it really hurts. But I guess lessons learned you really can't be friends with someone you "like"... or maybe you just can't be friends with dicks. 

All I'm gonna say to you directly Mr Ford is this: You're a bit of a douchebag. You need to learn to appreciate a good thing when it's right freaking infront of you. I do hope you find (or have already found and didn't have the balls to be honest about it) someone who you'll actually care about. And I hope that no one ever makes you feel like you don't matter.  Because no one should be treated that way. So thanks for nothing and peace out.