Alright let's talk about Mental Illness. As many are, hopefully, aware May is Mental health awareness month. Mental health and well being is extremely important to me!! I have a handful of family members and close friends who struggle with their mental health, and as I mentioned in a prior blog post recently my cousin committed suicide.
I too have struggled with my mental health at different times during my experiences being chronicly ill.
The other day as I was scrolling through YouTube I happened on a video about the danger in our society of Romanticizing mental illness. To romanticize something according to the Webster dictionary means: "to make romantic: treat as idealized or heroic." And some synonyms are words like: "glamorize, idealize, glorify"
I do beleive that there is some of this in our society. For example, the video I watched also referred to this, in the wildly popular TV show 13 Reasons Why you follow the aftermath of a suicide of a teenage girl. She sends these tapes explaining (blaming? Condemning?) to people in her life the role they played in her suicide. Then it follows how these characters are affected (traumatized?) by these tapes. The danger is the show portrays Hannah (the girl who committed suicide) as being there. Witnessing how these people are affected by her actions.
News flash!! When you commit suicide you are gone, you do not get to see how this hurts the people around you. And believe me it does hurt them. You don't get to witness their change or live on despite you're death. You are gone. The end. Suicide as a way to help people change, or a tool for revenge is a sick portrayal of the true illness that leads to such a decision.
I refuse to believe that my cousin who loved his mother and father, his sibblings, his wife and his children would take his life as a way to "get back at them" for any perceived injustice he felt or to help them somehow "improve" themselves. He did it because he has severe depression. He had lost hope and saw no other way to escape the pain and despair he was experiencing. In this way I do beleive society can be harmful, downright toxic, in this aspect of mental illness.
Another aspect of "Romanticizing" this video brought up was having multiple people (predominantly) YouTubers sharing "I have anxiety" or "I'm depressed" and the video goes off on the: DO YOU HAVE A DIAGNOSIS?! argument that always seems to follow these things. This specifically bothered me, because I've talked about my struggles with anxiety before with friends or family and I don't want to be part of a problem for others who face greater mental illness struggles. Now YouTubers aside, I don't think most people see anxiety or depression as big money makers. So I'm going to leave YouTubers and their choices in the corner.
So let's discuss this; my mother is a therapist, she has a masters in Marriage and Family therapy. So I brought this issue up to her and she tried to help me understand this idea of diagnosis here's what she explained:
To have a disorder you're struggles with this specific mental illness (i.e. anxiety) must be severe enough to be disrupting daily living.
But mental health is a spectrum and you can struggle on that spectrum it's simply a matter of where on the spectum you find yourself. Most therapist don't want to label and diagnosis because it's completely subjective to your current therapist and can be potentially harmful in the long run. Within the medical treatment of mental illness a diagnosis is required for medication treatments. However! A therapist can treat you without a diagnosis, they may make assumptions about what your "ailment" is and they will offer therapy based on symptoms and what is most effective for treatment of certain illnesses. Seeking a diagnosis is a personal journey, one that is individual for each person. And only as affective/helpful and they feel it is.
So there you have it! You may not have an anxiety disorder but struggling with anxiety and being open about it is valid. In my case, following my diagnosis with ulcerative colitis I was incredibly anxious.
At one point I was home alone and started to have a panic attack, I called a close friend simply asking for her to breath with me. I was drowning and begging for a life preserver. She responded quickly, more that just breathing with me she dropped everything and came over. She held me and didn't leave until my family got home. At times I was so crippled with fear all I could do was cry. It took time but as my body tried to heal so did my mind. I believe that there is a real possibility this anxiety will be something I struggle with all of my life, just like my illness.
Now let's finish this concern with "romanticizing" mental illness. I think it comes down to motivation: if you share information about your illness (physical or mental) because you want to raise awareness then that's good. Awareness is important, people don't understand things they don't know anything about. So sometimes you just gotta talk about it. If you talk about it for attention, praise or fame that's less good. I get it we all want to be seen but it's more important, especially with mental illness to be heard. If people hear you their hearts will be touched and the world can be changed. But if all they do is see? Well, when they look away you're out of sight and therefore out of mind. And heres a little pro-tip, if you worry about whether or not you're doing thing's (being sick, having symptoms, cancelling plans, talking about you're struggles) for attention there's a 98% change you're not. If you were you wouldn't care.
So to sum up; 1. STOP JUDGING PEOPLE! Just try to be kind, please! I'm begging you. If someone is talking about their mental illness and in the back of your mind you think, "gee what attention seekers" or "where is their diagnosis" Well all I'm gonna say is: "check yourself before you wreck yourself!" Listen to them, validate them and try to help them if you can. 2. MODERN MEDIA OFTEN DOES ROMATICIZE METAL ILLNESS! Don't buy into the lies. If you are struggling get help! Suicide is not romantic, heroic, idealic. Suicide is not the answer! SUICIDE CRISIS LINE 1-800-273-8255. If your are struggling reach out and get help! If you're worried about someone you love, don't hesitate to call 911 and send help to them.
3. MOTIVE IS THE ANSWER TO NOT ROMATICIZING MENTAL ILLNESS. Check you're motive when you share you're story. Awareness=good. Attention=not so good. And of you just feel like you want to share it? You don't have a clear reason why, then do it!
The biggest answer to mental illness is Love. Love someone enough to listen to them. Love them enough to see the warning signs and get help for them. Love yourself enough to get help if you're struggling. Love the world. Spread kindness wherever you can and someday we will overcome this illness.
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