So what exactly is a self affirmation? Well usually it's a statement or phrase that is positive or empowering to help fight against negativity or criticism coming from within. The most common examples start with "I am...." and then usually some sort of positive comment about yourself i.e. "I am beautiful" or else it might be an "I can" or "I will" phrase all of this meant to help adjust your mindset. Honestly take a gander on Google and you'll find plenty of examples if you do a quick search for Self Affirmations.
Some people just use pre-written affirmations, that's always what I'd tried to do in the past. It wasn't the best for me though because I often turned off my emotional response to them. So they were less than affective. This time I decided I would write my own. Yup! *nervous laughter has entered this chat* 😅
In order to help myself succeed I did some research via (yup you guessed it) the Google. I found this article from PostivePsychology.com which did an excellent job explaining self affirmations, their origin, uses and how to's along with the science behind why and how they work. It also included some tips to write your own and examples of reccomended affirmations. It closed the article with a handful of additional resources from YouTube videos to books to apps. I highly reccomend this article if you have questions about affirmations or if you want to do something similar to what I did for yourself so consider this to be Step one. After this research the part that grabbed me the most from the article was the idea that for self affirmations to be the most effective they have to reflect my core values.
So a logical step Two was to ask myself: What are my core personal values?
I just pulled out my study journal and made a quick list. What made the list? Simple stuff: friendship, kindness, compassion, happiness, etc. Knowing what I value was great and throughout writing the list I knew it was true based on how it made me feel. The feeling that it just 'rings true' was what I was relying on. So listen to yourself and don't just write what you think your values should be. Also don't just write the values you feel like you live true to 100% because let's be honest that's a rather unrealistic expectationand there's a good possibility nothing would make the list. Instead even if you struggle to live true to it you'll know how important it is to you if it's something something focus on frequently. And funny as this may seem it some ways I knew it was something that really matters to me if it's also something my inner critic often points out as something I fail at constantly. So if that helps you determine your values use that to filter your list.
The third step I took was listing things I felt that I needed help with, areas (more abstract than literal) where I needed help. So confidence rather than listing my job, makes sense? Like if you have a specific example of an area of struggle but not sure how it fits try to break down why you struggle with it. Using the original example of Work, why is work something I need help with? Maybe it's because I doubt my ability to do my job well i.e. confidence. Once you've broken it down the why hopefully it'll lead you to a value or something of that like you can work off of. If not that's okay we can work with it anyway!
Step four: time to write!! Start with an I am or I will or I can statement and then choose a value to build off of. Maybe it's "I am kind" or maybe it's "I will choose to be kind to myself especially when I don't feel I deserve it" in this example the value is clearly kindness and could address struggles with an inner critics lack of kindness towards daily perceived failure. As you write listen to your heart, listen to how you feel as you write the words do they bring you a sense of peace? Yes? then you're on the right track! Don't feel bad if you don't feel something even if it sounds good or you think it would make a good affirmation, to that I say *blows raspberry*. This is completely personal! And there are absolutely no expectations you need to meet, just write what you feel! Don't stress about spelling or grammer or run on sentences or anything else!! After writing something then go ahead and edit it as needed to make it smooth and clear, I reccomend trying to read it out loud see how that sounds but more importantly see how it feels still feeling the peace or the ringing of truth? Good job you did it! If not look at what stands out as needing to change and make whatever adjustments feel right. Then check it again until you get something that works for you! Because these are meant to be personal I won't be sharing mine, but trust me they are certainly not award worthy! But they are exactly what I need right now.
I wrote only 3 affirmations I didn't want to overwhelm myself and 3 just felt like a good number. I wrote and rewrote until I felt right. Then I decided I wanted to have these somewhere I'd see them everyday, my bathroom mirror. Since I want to more creative/artistic I decided to decorate some pretty paper and then use hand lettering to write them all pretty like. So I guess you could consider this step five but it's definitely optional! I used this marble paper craft technique that uses food coloring and shaving cream (sounds weird but it totally works) and I've included this helpful DIY article to help you do it too if you want too! Then once the paper dries I added my affirmations and lamentated them before taping them to my mirror. I highly recommend some sort of creative outlet to help really get these things to sink in. Plus there's so much positive research about creativity helping with mental illness so if you have the time try something out.
The final step is to actually start using these affirmations. You can decided how often or when and everything else. For myself I try to say them 3 times in the mirror each morning. It's a good way to start my day and then throughout the day as I see them I might read them again at the point, it is surprising just how often to come to mind after only a few days of doing this exercise! Find what works for you and do it! Don't be afraid to adjust if something isn't working and don't be afraid to make it stupid simple for yourself. Maybe you record yourself saying them and make it your wake up alarm the possibilities are endless just do whatever works best for you!
Now go forth you majestic unicorn. Affirm yourself straight to success and happiness! Xoxo
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