Alright so story time!! I'm going to talk about Mr X (since we don't want to harm confidentiality on this blog) so Mr X and I met while I was serving my mission. I found out from one of him friends that he had a crush on me, awkward, but you manage it. He asked me to write him after I went home and he left on his mission. So he left and I wrote him, as promised. Why? Well because I wanted to be nice plus he was an okay guy. I wasn't like an every week emailed by any means. But I wrote him often enough. Then just before he came home he started messaging me over Facebook. Long story short we started talking pretty frequently. A few weeks after he got home (just around Valentine's day) he expressed his feelings for me. I wasn't sure how to respond so i just said honestly that I wasn't clear on my feelings and felt we needed to get to know one another (without one of us being a missionary). He agreed and we continued to talk. He discussed the possibility of coming to visit me, we figured we should probably video call before that. So we started the occasional video call.
At this point I was really trying to determine my feelings. I was discussing it with friend and family. And honestly I just didn't feel any spark. I really felt like after 3 years if a spark was gonna happen it would've happened by this point. So I decided to prevent hurt feels and sad hearts so I told him what I was feeling. I tried to be kind and I expressed the fact that above all I just didn't want to hurt him and wanted to stay friends. His response was curt and frank: his only interest in me was romantic, he had only worked on our friendship in the plans of it become a relationship and since I wasn't interested he was no longer going to make an effort.
He has held true to his words. Since this last exchange it has been 3 weeks. We haven't spoken. We went from daily to nothing. I'll be honest it took me a while to be ready to talk about this. I was hurt, not because I'd secretly fallen for him, but because for 3 years I had invested in our friendship. Not because I wanted anything out of it beyond just that friendship. It hurt to think that he had no real sincere interest in me. It was like reverse freind zone... relationship zone and when I didn't agree in was dropped. The end.
Listen friends don't lead someone on like this. Don't be interested in someone only until you get what you want. This is selfishness and entitlement. Let's see if I can make this a little more simple don't be a Dickhead!!! Yup that's right. Friendships are work and they take effort. You can't go into them expecting something from it. Friendship is about love and trust and support. If you're luck enough to talk in love with your best friend then good for you. If not, you're friendship should be able exist beyond that.
Listen, just be kind okay? Treat people the way you want to be treated. If you can be kind the world will be a better place. So get on it!
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