thinking thoughts

This is gonna be a short post... it's really just thoughts... or a thought I guess, and not much else. 

Have you seen the movie The Intern? Anne Hathaway and Robert De Niro. Truly it is iconic and I love it. It might be my favorite movie, okay probably not. But definitely in my top 10 and one of the few I actually own a physical copy of. 

But here's the thing I cannot watch this movie without thinking of my parents and their issues. Without getting into the nitty gritty details. A few years ago my dad was unfaithful to my Mom. Not a long drawn out love affair with another woman just a spur of the moment physical infidelity (following a long period of mental unfaithfulness but that's beside the point). 

Now spoilers in the movie The Intern the husband characte is unfaithful to the main female lead (Jules played by Hathaway), she finds out and so does Ben (De Niro's character) and they discuss it with Jules being on the side of forgiveness and resolving the solution and Ben being much more cynical and pointing out that she has the right to a life free of unfaithfulness. No prior to this scene there is a scene where Jules trys to instigate intimacy with her spouse. In a rewatch knowing that at the point she likely is aware of the affair yet still making these choices my father made a comment along the lines of: "Why would she do that? She knows hes not being faithful to her why would she want to engage in that way." To which my mom responded that obviously she still loves him and doesn't want to give up on their life and happiness together. And my father lovingly scoffed at the whole notion. No as an isolated event this doesnt really mater- who cares! Made up movie, flippant comments, trival move on. 

But I can’t move on becuase of whats happened with my parents. I feel like their responses to the cheating perfect sum up the whole experience. My dad has been unfaithful and my mom has been desperately clinging to what was believing that his choices meant nothing. But I can't help but wonder if the roles were reversed would my Dad fight as hard to keep my Mom? From his flippant comment I doubt it... and I'm here just wondering why? Why did this happen to my family and will I ever get past it? Becuase I gotta be honest no part of the situation my Mom or Dad's involvement has left anything good behind and I'm left questioning marriage and love and faithfulness and trust and.... truthfully this is why I'm single. 

Anyways ramble over maybe now that it's out of my head I'll start to move on and be able to just enjoy this movie without it bringing on such complicated thoughts and feelings.