Strawberry top syrup

I use a lot of strawberries in my baking, and for a long time I've wanted to waste less. So I discovered you could make strawberry syrup from just the tops of the strawberries that are often tossed. 

So, despite being anything but a food/recipe blogger here I am to share my "recipe". 

Step one: get a large pot and add in all the strawberry tops (I typically freeze mine and collect them so I can make a big batch all at once).

Then add enough water to just barely cover them. 

Then bring the tops and water to a gentle boil (maybe a simmer idk). Cook for 10-15 minutes. While cooking,g I mash the tops against the sides of the pot to try and break them down more. 

After cooking, the berry tops will have lost color, but the smell will be strong of strawberries. 

Step two: it's time to strain! 

I use a large glass container that also measures the liquid contents. While straining mash the tops to squish out all the juices, then set aside to toss or compost. 

Step 3: Measure the liquid; you will use that measurement for the sugar to add. My liquid measured about 5 1/2 C. So that's how much sugar I used. 

Add all the sugar and strawberry liquid back into the pot (I don't rinse the pot. I just make sure there aren't any leaves or anything left behind in the pot). 

The liquid will look more glossy with the sugar you are gonna bring this to a gentle boil (if you have a thermometer somewhere around 200°f and 215°f) and cook 10-15 minutes. I usually ditch the whisk at this point (it just adds more bubbles to the syrup) in favor of a good rubber spatula. 

Once the time is reached, you want to remove the pot from the heat. At this point, you're done! You can package it however you choose- I went ahead and canned mine with a steam bath. 

I got four pints worth of syrup.

Once opened, it does have to be refrigerated and is good for several months (if it lasts that long). 

Now you have your syrup! Go forth and use in all the ways! Here are some ideas:

•Mix with water and lemon juice to make strawberry lemonade

•Use in tea or mocktails 

•Delicious on pancakes or waffles

•On top of ice cream or drizzled over other desserts. 

Fathers day grief

There was a time I was incredibly spoiled with the comfort of feeling not much of anything on fathers day. It was a day and if I got to show a little extra TLC and kindness to my Dad that was great. 

But time and choices have changed a lot of things. Now I spend my fathers day baking pies for my church family and then driving home from church early- often in tears becuase of all the grief.

I think most people can understand the feelings of grief around fathers day. Those who have fathers that died or live far away. But there's also a grief in not having a close relationship to a father. Grief in how a fathers choices has caused hurt that hasn't healed. Grief in what was but isn't anymore. Grief that the rose colored glasses are gone and you can no longer excuse things. Grief as you see loving fathers interacting with their children and feel this pang of longing. 

In my case there's also a sense of guilt. That somehow I'm wrong or bad or the problem for not "forgiving" or "moving on". The truth is I have a great deal of compassion and pity for my father. I can see and acknowledge his hurts and the issues of his family and how incredibly unfair that was for him. But the problem is that all the hurt he's caused and taken little accountability for has made excusing his behavior near impossible. Yet still that voice taunts and judges that I am wrong and selfish and cruel to still feel this way to still struggle not to be angry at his actions and to still be hurt by his choices. 

The truth is I don't hate my father. If I did I think many of my feelings would be much more manageable. I do love him and I want more than anything to have a loving healthy relationship with him. But I'm not sure I believe that will ever happen, at least not in this life. So here I sit... sad and alone in a pew feeling my feelings and wishing today was already over. 

May Reading recap

Several books this month, how is it I am always surprised by how many I've read?! Also look at me posting despite it being late in the month haha big thanks to my sister for being persistent and bothering me until I got it done lol. Also my brain feels a little mush at the moment- life continues to life and this month (June) is proving to be incredibly busy and a little hectic. So this post will be what it will be- and that's gonna have to be enough. 

Book 1: Tuesdays with Morrie

I wrote a rather well worded review of this book via goodreads. It does however benefit from being on the goodreads to fully understand my remarks. So feel free to go check that review out here. 

Book 2: Three Against Hitler

I am a world war two junkie and I am not in recovery. Currently I am enjoying a History channel podcast hosted by Tom Hanks breaking down WWII and it is incredible! For the WWII junkie in your life I highly reccomend. All that to say when I was visiting my parents last month and happened upon not 1 but 2 world war two era books that I hadn't read I obviously had to bring them home. 

Three Against Hitler is excelent! It tells the story of Helmuth Hübner, Karl Schnibbe and Rudi Wobbe. It was written based mainly on the experience of Rudi Wobbe and I believe he co-authored it (but I could be wrong). I knew of Helmuth Hübner because of my religious history class growing up and becuase more recently there was a movie made about his remarkable yet painfully short life. 

This story tells the horrors of life in Germany during the Nazi regime that fact that even "good" people were bamboozled. And that a courageous 15 year old boy saw the truth and was willing to risk everything to share it. However, it doesnt end with the tragic end of Helmuth. Because Karl and Rudi have years of imprisonment before returning to a Germany that was broken and needing to find healing for their country and themselves. I highly reccomend this book and if I can get my hands on it I'll definitely be watching the movie. 

Book 3: Sense & Sensibililty 

Though a bit longer, slower, and perhaps more tedious at times than the more popular of her books, this was quite a joy for me to read. I have found myself to be quite the Jane Austen fan, and I won't apologize for her books being just the right escapism. 

Sense and Sensibililty tells the story of two sisters as different as fire and ice (or are they?). Truly, the difference between them and their circumstances comes down fully to their choices in how to respond. Eleanor (the eldest) responds with sense: she feels deeply the loss of her attachment to Edward, but her sense keeps her behavior civil and reserved to all involved parties. While inwardly, she finds solace in Edward's goodness and attempts to ease the ache in a desire for his happiness. 

Marianne (the middle child) responds with sensibility, passion for those who aren't quite sure what Austen is talking about, always but especially to the jilting of Willoughby. She must feel her feelings in every sense of words, and if she must, then so must everyone around her. No happiness can be felt, no attention can be given, and no distraction is allowed. Only suffering and sadness to show the depth of sorrow at the loss. It's giving "Disney princess throwing herself onto her bed to cry" vibes. 

Despite their respective reactions (and the debate on which is right and if either is right at all), it all ends rather happily for everyone. 

Edward is released from his long-time engagement to Lucy. * Side note: no adaptation has ever satisfied my desire to understand how on earth Lucy ends up married to Robert over Edward. The book explains it... mostly, though I find it most likely to have been Lucy seeking a more advantageous match over actually loving Robert, but as we never see her perspective, who can say.* And thus freed he immediately runs to Eleanor and begs both her forgiveness and her hand in marriages. Both he receives and he even is able to find reconciliation with his family. Eleanor and Edward live happily ever after. 

Marianne avoids death and decides to improve herself and, from then on, gives much more to sense over sensibility. Willoughby ends married, not unhappy but forever limited in his happiness by both his actions and consequences. Marianne marries Colonel Brandon and is both finically well off and quite happy in her choices. *Side note #2: another element of all adaptations that always blew my mind was that within months (weeks) of her near death, Marianne is engaged to Brandon even before Eleanor has found her happiness with Edward. I always found this simply another example of Marianne's sensibility that she would run wildly in the opposite direction following her first failed attempt at a relationship. However, the book rights all and Marianne takes a full two years before she weds Colonel Brandon. Granted, the time passes in sentences. I still appreciate the sentiment that Marianne takes some time and is fully intentional about her choice.* 

As I said, all is well that ends well. Everyone deserving finds happiness, and those undeserving get more than they deserve. Truly Jane Austens books are a slice of cozy escapism where the biggest concern is writing letters to someone you aren't engaged to. It is exactly what I needed, and I am so ready for the next adventure Austen has for me.

Book 4: Night

My second WW2 read for this month. I read this book in a single day- as it is quite short that wasnt much of a feat. However, this book is perhaps one of the hardest I have read. It tells the story of a teenage Jewish boy we ends up in a concentration camp with his family, though separated from his mother and sisters he remains with his father throughout the entire horrific ordeal. The story is haunting and heartbreaking. Reading how a boy walks into hell on earth and looses everything- his family, his freedom, his health and even his belief in God. I cannot speak to that choice specifically but it certainly gets one to think introspectively. I would not recommend this book if you are looking for cozy escape or encouragement or any form of hope. But it is a powerful read for all. 

Book 5: The Princess and the Goblin

A children's book that is unsurprisingly better as a movie than the book. It tells the sweet and simple story of a young princess, horrible goblins and a young miner boy. I do think the author struggled to write accurate children- Irene was meant to be 8 but was treated and acted like a 4 or 5 year old most of the time. Until she suddenly had the wisdom of full grown adults. Curdie wasnt much better, he was meant to be 12 but acted like a full blown adult until he had the tantrum of a toddler. Obviously its a children's book so as I am not the target market I won't judge it to harshly. Overall it was sweet and simple and I think would make a very nice book to read as a bedtime story over several nights. 

Book 6: Just Stab me Now

This book was 100% my cup of tea! I enjoyed it from top to bottom and bottom to top. I was one of the fans watching the author Jill as she made her little skits online and enjoying them immensely. However when her book originally got published my library didnt have it so I resigned myself to never read it and promptly forgot all about it. Fastward a few years and it shows up again and suddenly there are multiple format copies (including an audiobook) at my library. So it was clearly fate and I had to read this book ASAP. And I'm so glad it did!! 

I loved the humor of this book, I loved the nesting doll story telling and I loved the love story. I will always appreciate a good fade to black rom-com. This book gave cozy escapism and I was rooting for all the characters happiness. I think Robin was my favorite character his humor tickled my fancy everytime. Highly reccomend this book to any trope loving clean romance fan. 

As always go check out the review my sister wrote here, we only read a few books together in May but we are planning to cover a whole series in June so look forward to that. Xoxo