perfection

Today I woke up, I wasn't feeling 100% haven't been eating as well as I know I should be. So I got up, did my makeup and my hair then I found a cute dress to wear to church. 

Then I came upstairs, walked by a mirror and suddenly an overwhelming 'blah came over me. 

I don't know how to describe it in words so I call it the great 'blah' yup. You know what I'm talking about. You don't feel good about yourself, the world or anything else. And there's not just one thing you can say upset you it's a million tiny things. You feel heavy and empty and sad. 

So I changed my cloths and took off some of my makeup. I still made it to church, despite the 'blah' I brought with me. At church I tried to listen but mostly cried (ruining all my remaining makeup haha) I read a few articles about anxiety and perfectionism. I have a problem yup, no doubt about it. My perfectionism makes me anxious and sad. 

I've always know I was a perfectionist of course, how could I not. But now I know I have a real problem. And I'm gonna work on it. I'm gonna pray about it and talk to my therapist. I'm gonna get a book about imperfection and I know I can work though this.