back to the beginning

Bang goes that. Here I am... alone again. Am I sad becuase I "lost him" or sad because it means I'm alone again? Alone with no prospects. No future. No hope of finding the love and happiness I so desperately want. 

Okay let's be honest it's definitely the second one. We only went on like 4 dates and frankly I'd rather he choose me fully than be half and half on things. Plus he was a lot of work- a not quite divorcee is bound to be but still. And he wasn't wrong. It was pretty clear that our lives were going in different directions and I don't really know if there was a path forward for us. But man I would've liked to try. I wish I'd be given that opportunity to take just the second step closer to my end goals. But here I am... Surrounded by others who have found their love and happiness and family and everything... but I'm alone. Once again the not chosen. Not wanted. Not gonna work out. Not quite the right fit. Waiting.......