I have a message for you, and I'll use small words so you don't get confused: "STOP. BEING. A. DICK." There did you understand me alright?
You wanna know the number 1 dick move in my book? Ghosting a girl. (Ghosting for anyone unaware is explained by the urban dictionary as: "When a person cuts off all communication with their friends or the person they're dating, with zero warning or notice before hand.") I don't care who you are or what your excuse is this is rude and frankly mean.
I have had more than my fair share of ghosting's from dicks. Now I'm not saying I'm great on my end when trying to pursue relationships, honestly I suck at it and I'm super inexperienced, but that aside I do understand common curitisy. Okay? It doesn't matter if you and this person weren't officially dating (which has most often been my case) if you are flirting with them, making future plans, dangling the possibility of a relationship or just don't want to be a dick, you owe that person the common curtisy to send the final message before dropping off the face of the planet.
Here are some examples of what you can say:
"Gee *so and so* I've actually met someone else and I want to pursue a relationship with them."
"So, this isn't working out for me, I'm sorry."
"I've decided to move to Uganda and won't be able to talk to you for a while."
Literally anything would be better than just suddenly not replying, not answering and not explaining. Let me pull back the curtain and tell you a little about how is feels to be ghosted;
First you make excuses for them. They must be really busy with: school, job, etc. Maybe they were in an accident and can't reply. Maybe the just didn't see my message I'll try again in a day or two.
Second you're confused. You start rereading messages trying to see if you upset them. Or looking for clues to explain what went wrong.
Third you're hurt. You don't know what went wrong. You don't understand why it went wrong. It hurts to think you were so unimportant to that person's life that they can remove you entirely like its no big deal. It just hurts (and this is why you're a dick).
Finally you either move on and are fine or you're left with trust issues. (I usually fall into the second because of my prior issues when it comes to men but that's for another post) And if you do move on and are "fine" there will always be moments in future relationships where a day goes by without response and you wonder if they are just done and that's the end of that.
Honestly guys AND girls just be honest with each other. Remember the golden rule: treat others the way you want to be treated. It's literally not rocket science! Be part of the solution and don't hurt people. I know telling someone you've moved on or aren't interested is hard and awkward but in the long run it will be better for both of you. Above all else be kind my friends, please be kind.
*What did you think this was gonna be a movie review or something?
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